Bluck You

Seriously, why did I think I could focus on Gossip Girl while Mimi and Violet were still awake and fighting over who got to have the 3-inch Cinderella figurine in bed with them. Oh, they were supposed to be asleep, but they were not. Even with the power of the pause button (thank you DVR), I’m not sure I caught everything, so feel free to berate me if I leave out some juicy bit.

Maybe it was the constant interruptions, or my extreme fatigue last night,* but I found this episode kind of dull, although Adam pointed out that a lot was revealed. Interesting that ‘he who does not watch Gossip Girl,’ not only noticed that things were revealed, but seemed pleased. He’s needs to own up and embrace his inner Dan Humphrey. He totally brown bagged it in private school.**

Anyway, yes, much was revealed, but it was very soap opera. Plus, Rufus’ hair was bad. Not Jenny homicide-inducing bad, but the wispy bangs aren’t a good look for him. I used to love the parents, because they are just a wee bit closer to my age than the teenagers and pre-wisps Rufus had a hot-dad, grunge thing going on. (I go for that these days.) But the whole adoption thing has ruined the hot parent thing.

Is it me or did Lily seem kind of pleased that the kid was dead? I found it pretty predictable that he isn’t actually dead, but I am curious to see how it plays out. Just please let him not look or act at all like Aaron. What was with Lily’s weird speech outside Rufus’ door? Was she breaking up with him? Apparently not, since they are all going to be one big happy-ish family: Dan Humphrey, his girlfriend Serena, Eric and his hag Jenny. I’m excited for their Christmas card.

Don’t you love that throughout the course of Lily and Rufus’ trip to Boston their kids couldn’t reach them, and they didn’t call to check on them and the kids basically had to sort out all of their feelings about the love child BY THEMSELVES!? Not to mention the fact that it was revealed by Gossip Girl. And, ew, they don’t share DNA.

I know some bloggers are rocking the mean girls, but I’m not. I don’t know why. (Oddly enough, I love the mini-meanies. Very cute.) Maybe my dislike is really my fear that someday my girls are going to be on the wrong side of a group of girls who have the moral compass of Bernie Madoff. Or worse that they will be one! I know Blair is a mean girl and I love her, but we’ve seen her gooey, Chuck-loving, bulimic center. We know she’s more than the bitch on the steps.

I’m also not sure if I believe that Nelly Yuki would have stolen Dan Humphrey’s phone and spilled that level of dish. I see her more as a hanger on, than an actual sociopath like her ‘friends.’ I realize that Blair and her minions’ machinations do keep the show moving and they often have the best lines, so I suppose I will shake off my real life woes and tolerate what must be.

Speaking of ‘friends,’ Blair and Chuck aren’t even that anymore. After spending the entire episode in his tiny, tiny suit and lady’s trench, Chuck took his sad eyes up Blair’s elevator and was dismissed. Big time. And it’s hard to argue with her logic. Whores, pills, public embarrassment, and the word ‘wife’ spit at you like bile, can make a girl pack it in. Really Bluck fans, none of you want a weak Blair and that’s where she was headed if she took Chuck back, even though they weren’t together together. They sure do have crackling chemistry though and are, I would argue, the best actors on the show.

(How HOT was Blair’s dress for their non-romantic/romantic, didn’t happen dinner? Blake Lively might be on the cover of Vogue this month, but Leighton Meester is a real beaut.)

There was some other stuff in this episode too. Chuck the Teenager was given control of his father’s jabillion dollar company and then lost it to his conniving uncle, because of the aforementioned whores, drugs, etc. There was a fake-out last week that something had happened with Blair and Uncle Jack, but apparently that got dropped. For now anyway. Oh, and Vanessa and Nate had some sort of anniversary, for which coffee and candy is given. They are scintillating.

Next week it looks like Blair is back to being Queen Bee, and this time she’s taking on teacher.

As for me, I forgot how hard it is to write and do anything else! This recap took me forever. More on that tomorrow. xoxo

* One of my resolutions was to get more sleep! I forgot to add it to my earlier list. Now I’m putting it out there, so I have to do it. Another one I forgot was learning to knit.

** He was a pb&J guy and as far I know never landed himself a Serena Van Der Woodsen.